A gay couple first attempted to marry in 1970, just a few months after the famous riots outside the Stonewall Bar in New York City; but marriage was not then taken up by the gay-rights movement. Matrimony seemed not only out of reach but out of touch with the liberationist, libertine ethos of the time. We were supposed to be breaking the fetters of conventionality, reinventing sexuality and ourselves.But then came the plague, and the discovery, too often, that we had only each other for family, yet we had none of the tools to care for one another that families need. We could not enter the hospital room; sometimes, we could not even enter the country. We would use our bodies to warm our shuddering “lover” (such was the term in those days — even worse than “partner”). We would hand-feed him as he wasted. Then, when he passed, we would be sent packing by the relatives who had never known or cared we existed.
Never again, we said. That was when we understood that real liberation lies in family’s embrace, not its rejection. Triple-drug HIV therapy and the gay-marriage movement arrived almost simultaneously. No coincidence, that.
Conservatives worry that gay participation will change marriage for the worse. Gay-liberationists (the few that remain) worry it will change gays for the worse. I wish they could all be here, as the grooms take their vows, to see how marriage has changed gays for the better. The ancient words wash over me. To have and to hold … for better for worse … until death do us part. These are words with the power not only to turn unrelated individuals into next of kin, to bond their extended families, to shelter their children, and to build communities; they are words that have reformed, and indeed re-formed, an entire culture.
(Source: enteekaygee)
this is so much better than what they went with - and of course less stupid/sensational. this is what mattered.
I asked the class if they knew who Maurice Sendak was, and none did. I asked if any of them knew the book “Where the Wild Things Are,” and a few said they’d seen the movie. In 1993, Sendak told NPR, “Children surviving childhood is my obsessive theme and my life’s concern.” In a 1986 interview with Gross, he said, “Being a child was being a creature without power, without pocket money, without escape routes of any kind.” Looking around at the captive young people in this class, his statements seemed truer and far more relevant than in most classes I visit.
here’s what celebration should look like.
three years ago today, jessica and i ran away to malibu and got our domestic partnership paperwork notarized by a guy at a mailboxes etc. who never took off his bluetooth headset.
we had been engaged for three months and were well into planning a big backyard wedding in the fall - but given it was highly unlikely california would extend “marriage” anytime before then, we wanted to nail down our separate-but-equal legal protections sooner than later.
so despite the utter ridiculousness of this paperwork runaround - and the inherent humiliation, frankly, in standing in line at a fucking strip mall knowing this was legally-speaking our “best” option - we did absolutely everything we could to make it fun (beach! cupcakes! tattoos!).
of all our anniversaries (first date, engagement - helpfully those two are the same - and yaybestdayever), this is the one we’re least likely to make a big deal out of. i almost had to check the paperwork to be sure it was the right day.
this year, i just wanted a reminder of all that i have to celebrate.
05.08.12 - Charlotte Pastor Mark Harris and Cindy Marrelli of Raleigh celebrate the passage of the N.C. marriage amendment during an election night party at the North Raleigh Hilton.
I keep trying to say something witty or thinking I’ll find the right gif set from some horror movie to add to this. But what could I say that would explain how much joy this couple feels at denying me and my wife our basic civil rights?
This is my life in America today: a majority of voters in one state after another deciding it’s not enough to simply not recognize my relationship but that they must actually go out of their way to guarantee I don’t sneak in any rights under a different name (or, in this case, that any unmarried couples of any sexuality can get away with that).
I believe in progress. I know it won’t take five minutes, let alone five years, for other people to be as disgusted by the idea of two people glorying in hatred as I am. But this part sucks anyway.
What I so don’t get, out of many many things I don’t get, is what exactly are they so happy about? What are they getting out of this other than bragging rights? Playground rules, nannynannybooboo we win?
No comprehension or conceptualization of what WE lose, real tangible losses…so that they can gloat? And have nothing to show for it but millions of dollars funneled and wasted, and the sadness and fear of the families they’ve wrecked.
i’m still allowed to reblog my wife even if i were in north carolina, right?
05.08.12 - Charlotte Pastor Mark Harris and Cindy Marrelli of Raleigh celebrate the passage of the N.C. marriage amendment during an election night party at the North Raleigh Hilton.
I keep trying to say something witty or thinking I’ll find the right gif set from some horror movie to add to this. But what could I say that would explain how much joy this couple feels at denying me and my wife our basic civil rights?
This is my life in America today: a majority of voters in one state after another deciding it’s not enough to simply not recognize my relationship but that they must actually go out of their way to guarantee I don’t sneak in any rights under a different name (or, in this case, that any unmarried couples of any sexuality can get away with that).
I believe in progress. I know it won’t take five minutes, let alone five years, for other people to be as disgusted by the idea of two people glorying in hatred as I am. But this part sucks anyway.
If you’re trying to juice page views, your staff will ineluctably be forced to make galleries. Where else can they get a 10x or 20x multiplier on their work? I can guarantee you that will not help you break the kinds of stories or do the kinds of analysis that will keep people coming back. Not only that, but it’s demoralizing to your best people, the ones who want to be out there producing their best work.
(via The Pernicious Myth That Slideshows Drive ‘Traffic’ - Alexis Madrigal - Technology - The Atlantic)
Chris Hughes, “mournfully”
When Mr. Hughes entered to remind Mr. Eldridge it was dinnertime, he tried to sit on the arm of his chair, but didn’t comfortably fit and moved to a high-backed chair five feet away. “I’m so far away from you!” Mr. Hughes said mournfully.
Chris Hughes and Sean Eldridge Are the New Power Brokers - NYTimes.com
aka, stories in which much richer gays sound exactly like me & my wife.
